rantlust

Posted by riyer on May 22nd 2008 in Humor, India, News, Politics, Travel
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I figured that this story deserved a spoof - Here is my version of the same story.

American, Cutting Back, Plans $15 Pants Fee

Published: May 22, 2008
There’s an old saying about the best way to travel: bring half the clothes and twice the money.

Now may be the time to take that advice to heart and you had better not be Indian or Chinese.

American Airlines said Wednesday that it would soon start charging passengers for the clothes and shoes that they wear. $10 for cotton pants ($15 for Jeans) and $5 for Shirts ($7 for full-sleeved shirts). Additionally, American will charge $5 per shoe ($10 if they are hiking shoes) - if they are flying on a discounted fare. Asked why they charge per shoe and not for a pair of shoes, an American spokesperson said that as per the Americans with Disabilities Act, such pricing would be discriminatory.

The airline’s new policy — to take effect July15 — comes only weeks after many major carriers, including American, began charging $15 each way for checked baggage,

The new fee is just the latest example of airlines adding charges on top of rising airfares, even at the risk of angering travelers further, to make up for the billions of dollars they are losing as fuel prices soar. In an effort to reduce the weight and consequent fuel consumption, airlines continue to explore ways to reduce the weight and the clothes we wear are the latest target.

“It’s only going to get worse and worse,” said Laura Glading, president of the Association of Professional Flight Attendants, which represents employees at American. “Flight attendants are not trained to distinguish between running shoes and hiking shoes, and what if passengers decide not to wear any clothes so as not to pay the fee” said Glading?

American Airlines executives said they had little choice but to impose such fees, given that the price of jet fuel is up more than 80 percent from a year ago.

Airline industry losses could top $7.2 billion in 2008, Jamie Baker, an analyst with JPMorgan Chase, estimated this week. Airline shares were battered Wednesday, as oil surged to a record $133.17 a barrel. Stock in American’s parent company fell 24.2 percent, to $6.22 a share.

In another development, several airlines are considering charging Indians and Chinese an extra fee - because India and China are being blamed for soaring oil prices. The rise in global oil and food prices are being blamed on demand from India and China. Last week President Geroge W. Bush blamed the demand for food with higher nutrition among Indians as the reason for 9% inflation in food prices in the US.

In a surprising move American announced that for every snack purchased by a non-Indian and non-Chinese passenger, Indian and Chinese passengers on board will be assessed an extra fee.”We are looking for every opportunity to change our cost-structure and even President George Bush has said that food prices are rising because of increased demand in India and China, so it is only appropriate that we pass the price of food consumed by average Americans to the average Indian or Chinese.

“Our company and industry simply cannot afford to sit by hoping for industry and market conditions to improve,” American’s chief executive, Gerard J. Arpey, said Wednesday at a shareholder meeting.

To cut costs, the company also said Wednesday that it would eliminate toilet paper and running water from toilets. “The weight of toilet paper and water adds several hundred pounds to the gross weight of an airplane - this move is expected to save $5000 per year and increase share holder value” said Mr Arpey.

American is also considering charging access fees to toilets for discount fare passengers. Robert Harrell, an industry consultant, estimated that as many as 40 million American passengers could be subject to the new toilet access fee. American carries about 98 million travelers a year. With an average of 100 toilet access per flight, at $1 per toilet access this move could potentially net upwards of $40 million per year. “Each passenger will get a cup of water and 3 sheets of toilet paper and 5 minutes of access to the toilet” said Mr Arpey

Asked whether the Toilet paper charge will be arbitrarily passed on to fellow Indian and Chinese passengers, Mr Arpey said “No. We understand that they don’t use toilet paper in India and China, so we can’t charge them for that”

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Posted by riyer on July 24th 2007 in Animals, Health & Fitness, Life, Nature, Thoughts
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The other day while riding downhill on my bicycle, averaging speeds above 35mph, I happened to notice that a squirrel had been struck, perhaps a few moments before I passed it, by another cyclist or a car. The squirrel was not dead, it was struggling and writhing, its head almost entirely severed and it lay there dying. It probably died long before I reached the bottom of the mountain. Note that I captured all this in a fleeting moment - there was a brief instinct to brake and help put it out of its misery but I continued downhill, my thoughts moving quickly - from the shame of not helping the miserable creature by putting an end to its suffering, to the ethics behind my inaction.

I asked myself the question what my “kartavya” (duty) was to that squirrel. What was my role in the death of that squirrel? Am I as responsible for its death as the person who directly laid the hit. What if instead of a squirrel it were a person? Is letting a person die as dastardly an act as laying a hit on that person that caused them to die? I know the utilitarian answer to that question but that is not at all comforting.

I know that if it were a person, I would have done everything in my power to help that person, but that got me to the question - what if the only reasonable help that I could offer that person was, like the squirrel, a quick death. Would I act illegally? Obviously what was supposed to be an exhilarating downhill ride was quickly filled with angst. At least the physical pain of the uphill ride was masked easily with memories of funny expressions. There was zero thrill to be had in this downhill return. I confess that I was at a complete loss, I even blew past a STOP sign, with a middle-aged man yelling sarcastically from his car “Nice Stop”.
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Posted by riyer on July 22nd 2007 in Health & Fitness, Outdoors, Roads, Sports, Trivia
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When I was studying for my BSc, undergrad to you ‘mericuns, my friends (a very colorful bunch - I must add) and I, had some hilarious - albeit crass, expressions. These were expressions you would dub as “poly” (i.e foul) in kannada and they indeed were, but I am convinced that we made some of these up on the fly. One that I had reason to remember yesterday is “niN tHeega karGathe” ( i.e. arse will dissolve or reduce). Another Hindi expression also came to mind yesterday- “gaanD phategi” less chemical than the Kannada expression and a tad more pathological, it simply means “arse will rip”.

Why was I remembering these yesterday? Actually I can Google map the exact spot at which I remembered these expressions..but I am getting ahead of my story. Over the last 10 years, every year, I have set myself a physically challenging goal to accomplish. There were a couple of trips up Mt. Whitney, a few up Half Dome, and a few backpacking trips etc. Most of these goals I successfully accomplished but there have been a few failures, the most notable one being Mt. Dana. A few frequently tell the story of my stupidity that cost me the mountain, but I attribute it to chivalry (yes, it is not dead, long live and all that rot). Turns out I gave my gloves to someone and as I continued my way up the summit, the wind-chill was so brutal it was dangerous to continue which forced me to turn around.

This year has been like none other. I started off in May by doing a 3 day backpacking trip along the Lost coast (will do it again, anytime). Ran a 10K and next week is the opportunity to go back to Mt Dana - (I have given adequate caution to my hiking partner about warm clothing and gloves). I have been telling my buddies that given my fitness this year I will whistle my way to the top of this 13,500 feet mountain. We start hiking at Tioga pass (which is at 9000+ ft). It looks simple but the wind-chill and the elements make it one of the toughest mountains I have hiked.
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Posted by riyer on July 15th 2007 in Humor, Journalism, Trivia
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Rejection and the regret letters that are associated with them are mostly stock letters, mundane and very boring. I have received my share of them - yes there was a time before email when companies would write you a formal letter rejecting your application and offer regrets.

My wife collected all the rejection letters she received as an aspiring letter and made artwork out of it. It spells out the simple word WRITER with a montage of all the regret letters. By the time you get to the final R, it is a montage of “congratulations” and “acceptance”

Today I came across a wonderful rejection of a rejection letter. Here it is. Enjoy.

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Posted by riyer on July 15th 2007 in Food & Wine, Society, Trivia, World
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To me the idea of eating Foie Gras made me wince, but then what do I know, I am a pesca-vegetarian.

Now I learn of “kopi luwak” - Enjoying coffee, made from beans that have been harvested from the dung of a civet. There is no accounting of taste, I tell you. I can understand the dung beetle having to do its thing, but we are people - accused frequently of being civilized. Do we really have to? Not being a coffee connoisseur, you can be assured that this is one coffee I will not taste.

BTW: The LA times has a story on this $600 a pound “ugh!”.

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Posted by riyer on June 27th 2007 in Design, Engineering, Nature, Society, Technology
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Turns out you can use spinach to derive the energy to run your house as well
See here
All they need to do is grow olives and press some olive oyl from it.

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Posted by riyer on March 19th 2007 in Education, Internet, Journalism, Productivity, Statistics, Women, World
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A few of my friends, my wife included, frequently bemoan the fact that the world as we know it is coming apart and things are getting worse every day. The daily onslaught of news on the human condition does not help alleviate this feeling for them.

Ever the optimist, I assert that on the whole this generation is doing better by itself and by its fellow man compared to any other generation in the past. Obviously I say this with no data, only as someone who is actively engaged in a grounds-up effort to provide opportunity to those who have none. Personal experience of being with some of these people gives me that optimism. Now it turns out that there is also data available to show that our lot is getting better, not worse.

Take a look at Gapminder They present human development data across the world in some very cool and innovative ways (Google has acquired their technology to make it available for free).

Go to the tools section and try out the GapMinder World, 2006 (the first one on the Tools page). You can change the X and Y axes (It defaults to Income v/s Life Expectancy but you can change them (e.g. you can compare Life Expectancy v/s Military Spending). It gives you a clear indicator on how things are changing around the world (except in Sub Saharan Africa where, due to the AIDS crisis, things have slipped back a bit).

BTW: It is also a fantastic way to get kids interested in statistics. Over the weekend my 6 y.o look at it over my shoulder and the next thing you know she spent more than an hour in front of the computer playing with the X and Y Axes. She kept telling me everything from “How Malawi compares with the United States in Child Mortality (I explained to her what that is)” , she was playing with Physicans per 1000 people etc, population growth over time etc.

I would also recommend the 1 hour Tech Talk they have posted (given at Google) and the video on Slums.

(Sorry, this post does not fit into any one category that we have - so I choose a few of them)

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Posted by riyer on March 15th 2007 in Business, Entertainment, Gadgets, Music, News
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I mean, are you one of those who can’t be bothered to RIP music and then sync it with your iPod. If so, slacker is coming to your rescue

Read more about it here

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